Office of Special Plans - Donald Rumsfeld's Events Party Service

Welcome to my website! -- Please excuse the .. untidiness .. while I build it. -- I am looking forward to sharing with you my exciting venture as a special events and party coordinator .. You may have already heard of my very special service .. it's been in the .. news .. quite a bit .. I call it the "Office of Special Plans" .. and I do hope that you will consider hiring my company to coordinate your next special event, company picnic, document falsification, Bar Mitzvah, family reunion, anti-democratic coup, birthday or anniversary, mass murder or .. genocide .. or any other very special plan you may have. - I'm the man with the plan!

My name is Donald Rumsfeld and I am the Secretary of Defense for the United States. - The United States was founded on the .. Jeffersonian .. ideals of democracy and equal protection .. (although I think Tommy boy sucked up to the .. French .. a bit over-much .. that's why I and a few close friends are actively engaged in "improving" the .. RULE of LAW .. with the help of the Supreme Court .. yee haw! .. Florida recount .. my ass!) .. but I digress.

Although my .. oath of office .. requires me to protect and uphold the Constitution, I say that's "old thinking" .. like those Communists in Europe and France. -- I've decided that the oath of office "thing" is best viewed as simply a suggestion and should not limit my right as .. "the man with the plan" .. to personally profit from my most excellent adventure .. as one of the primary string-pullers and policy-makers in .. diverting .. billions of dollars .. taxpayers' money that is .. that COULD be used to help veterans, children and the elderly get some decent medical care .. no, methinks that money would be better spent on buying more tanks and .. MOABs.

After all .. I already profited handsomely as CEO of a pharmaceutical company during the Reagan administration .. that's when I .. visited .. my very special friend Saddam Hussein and provided him with the .. starter kit .. for chemical and biological weapons of mass destruction. -- I found it quite rewarding to do so. -- Some might scold me for providing the dictator of Iraq, Saddam Hussein, with the ability to kill thousands upon thousands of Iranians .. not to mention precipitating our current untidiness .. but I say poo on you! -- If you don't believe in my .. God-given .. right to capitalistic endeavors, then you must be .. French.

SATIRE -- IT'S JUST SATIRE -- NOT REALLY RUMMY'S WEBSITE -- DONALD RUMSFELD DID NOT WRITE THIS -- IT IS NOT OFFICIAL POLICY FOR THE DEFENSE SECRETARY TO PROVIDE PARTY PLANNING SERVICES IN CONJUNCTION WITH OFFICIAL PUBLIC DUTIES -- YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT YOU CAN'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ ON THE INTERNET

However the "real" webmaster of this site obviously has some strong feelings concerning the trend in American politics .. specifically the Bush 2 administration and the neo-conservative cabal that appears to be greatly directing policy .. with a patience that is foreign to the President himself .. the neo-cons are already a third of the way through a 30-60 year plan. - Paranoid conspiracy theorist? - Yeah, well, mayby I am a little bit nutty, but I'll side with the "nurture" side over "nature" on that .. who can remain sane when your shipmates are fools.

I simply created this website on a whim .. one day in July of 2003 .. after yet another day of news that made me angry about those who were destroying the best that America stands for .. I decided to check the domain registry for "officeofspecialplans.com" .. was surprised to find that it was available, so I snagged it .. not really sure what I'll do with it .. I might be pushing my luck with this current version .. if you know what I mean .. anyway, I simply and quickly hammered this site out as a way to release some of the frustration I've been feeling .. you may be equally outraged by this site, and that's just fine .. last time I checked the first amendment still applies equally to all .. (however, historians familiar with the Alien and Sedition Acts .. the Espionage Act .. and the USA Patriot Act .. might disagree with me on that).

And just because I'm paranoid .. if this website goes down or is otherwise "mysteriously" absent from the net in the future .. then you can probably find the webmaster in a "built by Halliburton" cell in Gitmo .. word on the street is that Dick Cheney's old company now has the contract to build the gallows there as well .. that Cheney .. he just loves to "watch 'em swing".

FOR THOSE WHO WISH MORE THAN SATIRE - www.cooperativeresearch.org .. offers a wealth of facts, media commentary, paper and whisper trails, as well as public domain (and possibly some "top-secret") information on the so called "Office of Special Plans" .. best way to show your patriotism is to educate yourself on how your government is handling YOUR affairs .. satire is good for a laugh or two .. but this is truly serious stuff that demands more thorough digestion and critical thinking analysis.